


Dust in the Wind

by haldoor



Series: Parental Involvement [9]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Anger, Angst, M/M, break-up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-22
Updated: 2013-04-22
Packaged: 2017-12-09 04:59:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/770244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haldoor/pseuds/haldoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Warnings/Spoilers:</b> None for the show<br/><b>Disclaimer:</b> No ownership; no profit<br/><b>Beta:</b> Ran it past <span class="ljuser i-ljuser"></span><a href="http://kaige68.livejournal.com/profile"><img class="i-ljuser-userhead"/></a><a class="i-ljuser-username" href="http://kaige68.livejournal.com/"></a><b>kaige68</b> but all mistakes are my own<br/><b>Summary:</b> Freddie drops a bombshell on Steve<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Dust in the Wind

**Author's Note:**

> This is Part 9 of the **Parental Involvement** series about Steve coming to terms with the fact he never told his father about his sexuality. There is some comparing of his uneasy relationship with his father to his current relationship with his mother after her twenty-year absence. This part takes place some months after Part 7, **Drifting** , time-wise

Steve frowned uncomprehendingly at Freddie.

"I'm sorry, Steve. I know I said…" Freddie paused and turned aside. "It's just… it's hard. All the secrecy." Redness tinged his ears; a sign of guilt. "And… I've known Kelly a long time. She's always… been there, but I didn't…" He faded off, gesturing helplessly and shaking his head.

Steve couldn't find any words. It seemed impossible after all they'd been to each other; after they'd put up with so much crap just so they could have what they'd found in each other.

And they'd exchanged what Steve had believed were _vows_ ; close to sacred, perhaps. Evidently not so for Freddie; more like dust in the wind.

"Look… it doesn't mean we can't… you're the best friend I ever had, Steve. I don't want that to change."

Freddie finally met Steve's eyes. The pain in them seemed genuine, but Steve couldn't judge how real it was after being socked harder by Freddie's words than any punch he'd ever taken. He felt like his gut had been ripped out and stomped on by the magnitude of one sentence:

   _I've been seeing this girl I know, and I don't think you and I should sleep together any more._

Now, Steve furrowed his brows; the dam threatening. He turned his eyes skyward, blinking hotly until he felt able to control the bitterness. "I'm not sure I can promise anything like that."

"Please… Steve, don't…" Freddie grimaced, and Steve had no idea if it was his own pain or Steve's that was stifling his words. "You know I'm right. Jesus, every time… we're together, I'm scared someone will catch us. It shouldn't have to be like that. The stress of it…. It's too much. Sure, I wanted it, but… this way, I can relax; tell people about Kelly; not be looking over my shoulder, you know? And you… you'll find someone too. Plenty of women would give their right arms-"

"Don't give me that shit," Steve choked out, cutting him off. The hurt spun into white hot anger, and Steve moved closer, hissing his next words. "You're a coward, Freddie. I should have let you ring the damned bell."

Freddie's eyes flashed with something like passion, but not in the old familiar way that had always stirred Steve into an overwhelming need for sexual connection. "Maybe you should have. Then we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Lifting his head proudly, Steve held his ground. "Maybe it's the last one we need to have, anyway."

Freddie glared at him. "It didn't have to be like this, you know. If you weren't so damned clingy, we could have worked something out."

Steve gave Freddie an incredulous look, ignoring the insult. "You really think Kelly would share?"

There was a shake of Freddie's handsome blond head. "She won't have to."

And then he was gone, the door slamming shut behind him.

Steve blinked several times, drawing in air gulp by gulp until his head cleared. He had things to do; places to be. He had to keep it together; there was no choice. No wonder Freddie had picked now for this.

~//~

Several hours later, Steve lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, forcing himself to recount the day's events – after Freddie's bombshell – so he wouldn't dwell on the impossible situation he couldn't discuss with anyone. Glancing at the phone beside him, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he dialed.

"Dad? I just wanted to tell you I'll be coming home on leave soon. Alone this time."

"Any time, son."

Steve closed his eyes, nodding gratefully.

~//~


End file.
